I'm working quite a few hours at Best Buy now, and managed to make enough money to start nailing some of my over-due credit card bills. I've managed to open a new bank account, and even have a savings account opened up, in hopes of hoarding some money for future spending. I've made a Giant leap into becomming a person once again, and yet, I feel I've not even gotten out of bed.
I miss having someone. No matter how much I hated my job, I continued to work, not for myself, but for my ex. I really enjoyed going to work, making money, then spending it on both her and myself, knowing that her happiness was also mine. Now, I work, and go home to an empty room, with an empty bed. Yeah, I have a bit extra money, as well as fewer responcabilities, but it's really not worth it.
It almost asks the question, is it better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all?
After everything that happened, I still can't answer that question. It hurts, I'll freely admit, but the years together were indeed my happiest. However, I have one nagging fear in the back of my mind. . . if we're going to start looking to old quotes and nearly unanswerable questions.
Some people go through life seeking 'the pefrect one' for them. They often have to sort through everyone else to find it.
What if I found my perfect one, and now am forced to sort through everyone else searching for what can never be found?
Yeah, I know, I'm still dwelling on the past, and to be honest, I'm not looking forward to this June 26th. However, life goes on, and If I stand around, looking behind me wondering where everything went wrong, the 'next perfect one' will end up wooshin right past me, leaving me in the dust.
So, to everyone out there, as I speak from experience. . . keep lookin forward. Don't look down, or you'll end up walking itno a tree, and don't look too far up, or you'll trip into a ditch. Just take things one step at a time, and pace yourself.